Thursday, January 15, 2009

it feels so wrong...

Ugh, I feel so annoyed. I hate how it's just expected to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on a wedding. That's stupid. It feels wrong. I feel like Paul and I started the wedding planning out pretty simple (so I could stay in college, go figure), but my mother and future new mother (in-law) are wanting to spend more money on it than I'm comfortable with. It just feels so wrong to blow so much money for one day. I want the day to be about God, not how everything looks. My future mother-in-law bought us an over $1000 wedding cake for Christmas. I was shocked and humbled, but I also have this other feeling now...just uncomfortable with it I guess. I just can't justify spending $1000 on food, much less cake. I don't know, it just feels so strange. I don't know how I should feel. Thankful? It is a very nice thing to do, but I would never spend my own money that way, so I guess it's hard to accept. It's not like I can reject her gift though. That would seem so rude.

And now I just got a quote back from our florist consultation: $1,350. Gah! Another $1000 that will be gone after that one day. Sigh. I just can't handle it. I just can't handle throwing money away like that. It seems so wrong. The only thing I really ever cared to spend money on was the wedding dress...that could at least be passed on to my daughter someday. But spending on things that are just going to get tossed in the garbage later...how is that okay???

I guess my mom already went out and bought tablecloths and some table decorations...I have no idea what she spent on those...

I want it to be simple from here on out...new florist please!! I don't want to feel guilty walking down the aisle...

5 comments:

rachel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rakel said...

Meeka! I guess I can see how one could think that it would be throwing money away, I dont' view it like that... it is your special day! Don't feel guilty walking down the aisle...You only get married once! That does seem like alot of money for a cake but it was a gift. The day will be about God and the day when you and Paul began your life together...it does not matter how things look, but there is nothing wrong with making it special by the way it looks...

...idk I've never got married lol

meeka said...

okay, thanks rakel :)

Ivory said...

Haha! I'm not married either, but here's my thoughts: God is in control, and He works all things for good. $1,000 on your wedding cake...He allowed it, and He will turn it for good. $1,000 for flowers...He saw it happen and knows what's best. :D It wouldn't hurt to express what you feel to your mom. I think she would really appreciate knowing your heart, and maybe things could be changed. But, in the end, just know that He's in control.

meeka said...

Thanks Ivory! yeah, I talked to my mom about it after writing this and that helped a lot. Thank you for your thoughts!