Sunday, April 25, 2010

feeling aimless

I'm feeling a bit aimless. I feel like I'm standing in one place and turning around in circles while staring out at nothing but white space. That sounds depressing. I don't really feel depressed though, just aimless.

I'm thinking about the move down to Pasadena and jobs down there. I search for jobs and I don't even know what I'm looking for. I still have no clue what I want to do with my life! Or what I should do with my life. So, whatever. It's not like my job "is" my life, but darn it, it takes up a good majority of it! So I'm anxious about work in the LA area, and what I'm going to end up with. And it's kind of scary to be the "bread-winner."

I keep sighing like a deflating balloon. I hate frickin' money. It's like--what the crap--we're supposed to do something meaningful with our lives, while still making a living. How are we supposed to balance that? What comes first--doing something meaningful, or making a living? I feel like most of the time, it's making a living. I've been reading this old book we've had laying around called "Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow." So far, I like it. It makes me feel like there is hope in having a fun/happy/meaningful/awesome/exciting/stimulating/fulfilling/rewarding/personality-fitting job. And I hope that hope isn't just a marking scheme to sell the frickin' book! Even if it is, I got it free, so there! :P

Monday, April 19, 2010

we got internet!

Haha, we finally got our own internet today. It's a Mifi, so we can have it anywhere there is cell reception. It's sweet!

Well, if you don't already know, we decided to go to Fuller! I have a peace about it. I've been thinking about doing the Marriage & Family MA program there, and I'm pretty sure I'll start that next year. I think I need a year off of school, and I think I'll be more ready for the program after a year. But it's in God's hands.

I'm still working at the craft store, which is sometimes good, sometimes not. There is a lot of what seems like high school-ish drama that just gets tiring after a while. I am thinking about working at Prey's Fruit Barn again once they open again in June--especially if they can give me Sundays off. Craft Warehouse gave me Sunday mornings off last week, so now I can at least go to church, but it would be nice to have one whole day off with Paul.

On the up side, I'm really getting into crafts! I've been making a lot of handmade cards, and I'm really enjoying it. I also want to get into making my own jewelry, and learn calligraphy. I've never really done crafts before, so it's all new to me, but I'm finding it's super fun creating things. It just feels nice to learn a tangible skill after college and the academic world. It's nice too, because I get a lot of free stuff from the store that is slightly damaged that they can't sell anymore. So it's not so expensive to make things! :)

I've been totally neglecting my Etsy shop these past months because our internet was so unreliable. But I found out today that someone bought two things yesterday, so that was happy-making. I may get into it again now that we have the super-amazing internet!

Paul and I rented a good movie last night--October Sky. It's a true story about a kid in the 50's from a coal mining town, who decides to rise above everyone's expectations and build a rocket. It's a great, clean, and inspiring movie. I was left thinking how it seems like all the cool stuff happened in the 50's & 60's. The only new inventions we got since then are computers and the internet. It makes me wonder what someone's brain will create in the future. Or are we pretty much at a holding point now? I gotta admit though, it's pretty sweet how God made our brains to be able to come up with inventions--inventions that will get a person on the moon! Nowadays, no one really cares about other planets much, but it's pretty awesome when you think about it! Some dude was walking around on the moon! It's so exciting, and I can't wait to see what will happen in the future when we live our God-given potentials...