Wednesday, March 31, 2010


...or more positively put--choices. Paul has been accepted at George Fox, Fuller Theological Seminary, and Rosemead. They all have their strengths:

George Fox: We love the area. We felt the most welcome there. But it's only a PsyD, not PhD.
Fuller: Very culturally diverse, strong integration emphasis, and you get an MA in Theology as well as the Clinical Psych Doctorate.
Rosemead: Most "prestigious." One less year than Fuller. Better chances of getting assistantships early.

We've pretty much narrowed it down to Fuller and Rosemead, and we're leaning more towards Fuller. Rosemead is supposed to be a little more conservative, and we've heard, "hostile" to the spiritual gifts. Fuller has people of more diverse spiritual backgrounds, and focuses more on letting you develop your beliefs.

So we are definitely leaning towards Fuller, and the official decision is going to be made soon--since we have to let all the schools know by the 15th.

We've struggled a lot just to make the decision that we are leaning towards Fuller (if you can call that a decision). I guess it's just hard when we're talking about the next five to six years of our lives, not to mention life after school. We just want to be doing God's will. Before we heard back from the school, we prayed that God would just not have Paul get accepted where he didn't want him to be. That worked for one school. Paul applied at Seattle Pacific University, which was our first choice, since we could be close to his brothers and both our families. But they didn't even want an interview, so at least God made it clear for that one.

But now we still have three choices, and I'm trying not to think that two of them could be the "wrong" choice. They are all good schools.

It's just hard being in limbo--not knowing. But that will be over for sure in about two weeks, if not sooner! I just want God to give us an obvious sign! But that would be too easy.

After we got done with that day at Fuller the other week, I just really felt that Fuller was a place we could grow. George Fox felt very comfortable and nice, but I feel like if we went there, it would be like ending a life, instead of starting a new one. At Fuller, I felt like we would both grow and mature. It would be a place we could develop in a lot of different ways.

I never saw Rosemead's campus, but when Paul went down for the interview, he said he didn't feel as good about it as the other schools. But even so, it's so hard to turn down ROSEMEAD. It's supposed to be the best.

Anyway, I feel like I'm on a teeter-totter. God, make sure we make the right decision!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

the world and my observations

I've always felt uncomfortable writing non-fiction, because whenever I've tried in the past, I can't help thinking that I'm putting my life up for sale. Especially when it involves other people--which it always does. I don't have any right to tell their story to the world, and call it non-fiction and get any credit for's theirs, and I don't feel right taking it. This is something I've struggled with, and the reason I avoided the Creative Non-Fiction class in college. To me, it's a privacy issue.

It just kinda stinks though, because real life has such great material for stories. But I just don't think I could write them and call it non-fiction unless I got everyone's permission (which I don't know if I'd even have the nerve to ask).


I got a job at a craft store. It's minimum wage, which I try not to think about, but minimum wage is $8.55 in Washington, so at least it's better than some minimum wages. Anyways, I can live with it for the next few months until we move, and I actually am liking the job most of the time. I work in the scrapbooking section of the store, helping customers, and making displays. Making displays is great because you get to use their products for free, and then take home whatever you make once it's done being a display.

It's interesting being in the customer service world again. I guess I'm just fascinated by the different classes of people, and how they interact. We get all different kinds of people at the craft store--although they're mostly women. Some people come in "acting all high class" (as one of the girls says) and act like they deserve special treatment, and at the same time disgusted to be talking to you. Or they talk down to you like you're a kid. Most people are very nice and appreciative though. I have noticed though, how customers treat certain employees certain ways based on the way they look or dress. It's been happening a lot, when there is a group of three employees together and someone asks a question, they'll only look at me the whole time, even though the others are right there listening--like I'm the only one who'd know, even though I'm the newest person. It kinda pisses me off.

It's kinda nice being away from Taylor. I just feel like everyone at Taylor is from the same socio-economic class. Everyone has straight white smiles. The world is so segregated into classes--it seems just like India and the caste system. Okay maybe not that bad.

I love being at our church again. I never did find a church at Taylor that fit as well as our church here. It's a Calvary Chapel church, and I just love it. It's so real. I don't know if was just the Upland area or the Midwest bible belt or what, but everything felt so christianized that we didn't have any real people anymore. I love our church because we do have people from all different classes, and maybe a majority from the lower classes. And it's just beautiful because before it seemed like everyone who was a Christian was relatively well off, or middle class. And it started to feel like that stupid Blindside movie, where becoming a Christian only meant living in a nice house and getting a college degree. !!!!!!! It makes me mad. And yeah, the Blindside movie is probably better than all the other movies in the theater, but it was supposed to be based on a true story. And I don't know the real story, but where did they say Jesus, and where did anyone confess their sins, and where was anything "Christian" in that movie except for the suburban "Christian" that is all that seems to be left nowadays?

I feel like my heart is beginning to heal, and see the real Jesus at my church. It brings tears to my eyes now. We don't have everyone getting dressed up for a fashion show like at IWU. We don't have beautiful worship leaders. We have people with rotting teeth praising Jesus and praying with their pure souls in love for people. And I love our church too, because they know that you don't need a seminary to teach the Gospel. You need the Holy Spirit, you need the gifting, and you need the Word--and the Word only. "Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the WORD OF GOD." How do you think people are going to have faith in God, when all you're feeding them are these Christian jokes, and metaphors for comic relief? Every person I know that didn't go to chapel (including me for the last two years, for the most part) didn't go because half the time (usually more) the speakers were ding-dongs that I had no respect for, because they didn't even open the Bible for more than 30 seconds. They send these people in with these high and mighty credentials (spending our money to bring them, mind you) and they don't even lead us toward Christ! I often felt worse spiritually after attending a chapel service, because it was like they were cheapening God.

...but what will complaining do? Nothing, so I will leave it at that.

Monday, March 01, 2010


There's not much new, but I feel like posting anyway.

I went to a baby shower after church today, and I got to talking to someone about birth control. I'm on the pill, and she told me I need to be careful about getting enough zinc, especially when I go off the pill. She said zinc is really important in the early stages of making a baby, and so some women who get pregnant right when they go off the pill sometimes have miscarriages. I hadn't heard that before, so it kind of got me freaked out. I got home and researched it more, and found this interesting site. It basically says the pill depletes like a million of your nutrients, which isn't too surprising, but it really motivated me, and I went and took like 7 vitamin pills afterwards. I drank some MonaVie too, which is this health drink we have. I think I just need to be more aware of my health while on the pill, and start taking a multi-vitamin. On the website, it said it's especially important for vegetarians and vegans to take a zinc supplement, both women and men.

The other thing I've been thinking a lot about today is teaching. I've always said I don't want to be a teacher, but lately I've been considering. I just have no clue if I'd be any good at it, or if I'd like it at all...I just don't know. But I feel better at least thinking about it, and not closing that door to God. I've mostly been considering being a 6th grade language arts teacher. I can see it being fun, but I have no clue how it would actually be. Basically, I'm still pretty against it at this point, but I am opening the door to God if he is leading me there.

OH! I forgot to tell you about George Fox! Paul and I went down to Newberg, Oregon this weekend, and Paul had his interview at George Fox. It was a really great day. We got to meet all the other 18 interviewee's, and all the professors. Paul felt really good about his interview--better than both Fuller and Rosemead. It seems like a really great program, and a really great community. I think George Fox is my preference, for sure. I really like the town of Newberg too, and it's only 25 minutes from Portland--where there are publishing companies! There are quite a few publishing companies in Portland, and it would be totally sweet to get to work for one. It might not work out, but I'm definitely going to shoot for it. Paul will hear if he got accepted at George Fox in two weeks, and the others will tell him by April 1st. I can't wait to see what happens.