Monday, March 16, 2009

questions about pain

I just saw something very sad. :( I was walking out of Christian Marriage class today and there were two girls in front of me talking about a boy that one of them liked. Girl A was talking about her plans with Boy and Girl B was asking questions with excitement. Then I noticed Girl B was walking funny. She was limping. I looked down at her feet, watching to make sure I wasn't imagining it. Then I noticed the back of her heel was all bloody. Her white flats were scraping against her heel as she walked--the result: a bright red open scab all the way up her left heel, and the beginnings of more broken bloody skin on her right. :( All the while, Girl B talked like she wasn't in pain at all, and Girl A chattered on about Boy without noticing her friend's obvious limp.

Why didn't the Girl B take her shoes off once they were outside? Why didn't she tell Girl A of her pain, so she could slow down? Why didn't Girl A not notice anything wrong?

Did Girl B do the right thing by not saying anything? Was she being a selfless servant by not thinking of herself, and listening to Girl A? I'm thinking of this as a metaphor...if you are having a problem or pain in your life, should you not tell people about it? Just ignore it, so you can give yourself to others, focus all your attention to others? Or is it wrong not to tell people about your pain? Is it deceitful to hide your pain from others?


rachel said...

those are some good questions which i have struggled with myself. I sometimes feel like I am strong enough I don't need to let anyone see my pain. but that also goes back to your post about honesty and openess.

Elizabeth said...

First of all... ouch. bloody heels are not fun!
But on a more serious note... yea, I've thought about the same stuff. I think it really depends on the friendship because there are some where i can just randomly bring up what's going on, and other times when i need to wait and listen. i think this almost goes into the topic of false humility versus true humility... are we serving others or are we just not serving ourselves? if that makes sense..?
I miss our late night deep convos!

Anonymous said...

I would say it depends on the motivation. I don't think He wants us to share our pain with someone who's obviously not going to receive it as valueable. ("Don't cast your pearls before swine.) But if we don't share our pain out of mere fear of others' reactions or "false humility" like Elizabeth said, we're copping out.