Sunday, April 25, 2010

feeling aimless

I'm feeling a bit aimless. I feel like I'm standing in one place and turning around in circles while staring out at nothing but white space. That sounds depressing. I don't really feel depressed though, just aimless.

I'm thinking about the move down to Pasadena and jobs down there. I search for jobs and I don't even know what I'm looking for. I still have no clue what I want to do with my life! Or what I should do with my life. So, whatever. It's not like my job "is" my life, but darn it, it takes up a good majority of it! So I'm anxious about work in the LA area, and what I'm going to end up with. And it's kind of scary to be the "bread-winner."

I keep sighing like a deflating balloon. I hate frickin' money. It's like--what the crap--we're supposed to do something meaningful with our lives, while still making a living. How are we supposed to balance that? What comes first--doing something meaningful, or making a living? I feel like most of the time, it's making a living. I've been reading this old book we've had laying around called "Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow." So far, I like it. It makes me feel like there is hope in having a fun/happy/meaningful/awesome/exciting/stimulating/fulfilling/rewarding/personality-fitting job. And I hope that hope isn't just a marking scheme to sell the frickin' book! Even if it is, I got it free, so there! :P

1 comment:

Rakel said...

Oh Meeka...I hear ya, I used to know how it feels to feel like I'm just living for a job, to make money, paycheck to paycheck. It's no fun. But...That's why I love Reliv! It's not about me...I'm doing something meaningful while making a living...and I love it!I focus on other people and the money just comes in. I'm helping other people get there life back, health-wise or financially. Maybe Reliv isn't for you, but are you free May 5th? Come with me to Seattle for a special presentation to see Reliv up close and personal, meet the people that are part of this company. There's no pressure or commitment, you just go to learn and educate yourself what this company is...if that doesn't work, then be my guest on a listening call and just listen. :) We can also talk to some awesome people who have such a heart to help people and are very successful.
Love you :) keep your chin up and your blue eyes level :)