Thursday, March 18, 2010

the world and my observations

I've always felt uncomfortable writing non-fiction, because whenever I've tried in the past, I can't help thinking that I'm putting my life up for sale. Especially when it involves other people--which it always does. I don't have any right to tell their story to the world, and call it non-fiction and get any credit for's theirs, and I don't feel right taking it. This is something I've struggled with, and the reason I avoided the Creative Non-Fiction class in college. To me, it's a privacy issue.

It just kinda stinks though, because real life has such great material for stories. But I just don't think I could write them and call it non-fiction unless I got everyone's permission (which I don't know if I'd even have the nerve to ask).


I got a job at a craft store. It's minimum wage, which I try not to think about, but minimum wage is $8.55 in Washington, so at least it's better than some minimum wages. Anyways, I can live with it for the next few months until we move, and I actually am liking the job most of the time. I work in the scrapbooking section of the store, helping customers, and making displays. Making displays is great because you get to use their products for free, and then take home whatever you make once it's done being a display.

It's interesting being in the customer service world again. I guess I'm just fascinated by the different classes of people, and how they interact. We get all different kinds of people at the craft store--although they're mostly women. Some people come in "acting all high class" (as one of the girls says) and act like they deserve special treatment, and at the same time disgusted to be talking to you. Or they talk down to you like you're a kid. Most people are very nice and appreciative though. I have noticed though, how customers treat certain employees certain ways based on the way they look or dress. It's been happening a lot, when there is a group of three employees together and someone asks a question, they'll only look at me the whole time, even though the others are right there listening--like I'm the only one who'd know, even though I'm the newest person. It kinda pisses me off.

It's kinda nice being away from Taylor. I just feel like everyone at Taylor is from the same socio-economic class. Everyone has straight white smiles. The world is so segregated into classes--it seems just like India and the caste system. Okay maybe not that bad.

I love being at our church again. I never did find a church at Taylor that fit as well as our church here. It's a Calvary Chapel church, and I just love it. It's so real. I don't know if was just the Upland area or the Midwest bible belt or what, but everything felt so christianized that we didn't have any real people anymore. I love our church because we do have people from all different classes, and maybe a majority from the lower classes. And it's just beautiful because before it seemed like everyone who was a Christian was relatively well off, or middle class. And it started to feel like that stupid Blindside movie, where becoming a Christian only meant living in a nice house and getting a college degree. !!!!!!! It makes me mad. And yeah, the Blindside movie is probably better than all the other movies in the theater, but it was supposed to be based on a true story. And I don't know the real story, but where did they say Jesus, and where did anyone confess their sins, and where was anything "Christian" in that movie except for the suburban "Christian" that is all that seems to be left nowadays?

I feel like my heart is beginning to heal, and see the real Jesus at my church. It brings tears to my eyes now. We don't have everyone getting dressed up for a fashion show like at IWU. We don't have beautiful worship leaders. We have people with rotting teeth praising Jesus and praying with their pure souls in love for people. And I love our church too, because they know that you don't need a seminary to teach the Gospel. You need the Holy Spirit, you need the gifting, and you need the Word--and the Word only. "Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the WORD OF GOD." How do you think people are going to have faith in God, when all you're feeding them are these Christian jokes, and metaphors for comic relief? Every person I know that didn't go to chapel (including me for the last two years, for the most part) didn't go because half the time (usually more) the speakers were ding-dongs that I had no respect for, because they didn't even open the Bible for more than 30 seconds. They send these people in with these high and mighty credentials (spending our money to bring them, mind you) and they don't even lead us toward Christ! I often felt worse spiritually after attending a chapel service, because it was like they were cheapening God.

...but what will complaining do? Nothing, so I will leave it at that.


AJH said...

Wow, Marika. I love this post.

Rakel said...

I kinda can relate. When I came home from SD and started going back to my church here I think the first few Sunday back I always ended up crying at some point. Just to be in real fellowship with believers who love Jesus and don't just "check in" then "check out" their Christianity at the door was a relief after being away for almost a year. I love my church family and the true praise and glory they give to God. It is not just a stereotype.

'Quel said...

I like this post very much. Well said. You put into words the reasons why I felt so uncomfortable in chapel.

I, too, have found a church with real people in it and it makes me feel privelieged to be worshipping Jesus again.