Wednesday, April 08, 2009

can't sleep

I can't sleep. Mong mong mong...that's the sound of my brain's feelings. It's not even that late. Last week I was staying up until 2:30am because I wasn't tired. Now I am tired, but can't sleep. It's weird how you can control most things about yourself, and your body, but you can't always make yourself fall asleep. It's Pandora time now. Maybe I can lull myself to sleep. Sigh. Music is good.

I haven't written for a long time. How sad. I miss being in a writing class. Freelance isn't really a writting class to me. We don't always get to write what we want to. Articles feel stifling to me sometimes. It's not as free. Plus, I believe my work is not as quality in this class. I know my work is completely my responsibility, but it's tempting in this class to turn in work that isn't my best just because we're not really being graded on quality. (We're graded on revision process and having a market.) The grade will be virtually the same no matter the quality. So I get lazy. Not good! I don't like to see my writing and know it's not my best. It's time I write for myself though, not who's reading it. It is easier to write well under pressure, I think. I need to learn to pressure myself.

1 comment:

Rakel said...

that sucks when you can't sleep...i know. i miss the creative writing class i was in last year, cuz it motivated me to write. i love writing but have been lacking inspiration. you are so amazing! :)