World War II explained by a 5-year-old.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
questions about pain
I just saw something very sad. :( I was walking out of Christian Marriage class today and there were two girls in front of me talking about a boy that one of them liked. Girl A was talking about her plans with Boy and Girl B was asking questions with excitement. Then I noticed Girl B was walking funny. She was limping. I looked down at her feet, watching to make sure I wasn't imagining it. Then I noticed the back of her heel was all bloody. Her white flats were scraping against her heel as she walked--the result: a bright red open scab all the way up her left heel, and the beginnings of more broken bloody skin on her right. :( All the while, Girl B talked like she wasn't in pain at all, and Girl A chattered on about Boy without noticing her friend's obvious limp.
Why didn't the Girl B take her shoes off once they were outside? Why didn't she tell Girl A of her pain, so she could slow down? Why didn't Girl A not notice anything wrong?
Did Girl B do the right thing by not saying anything? Was she being a selfless servant by not thinking of herself, and listening to Girl A? I'm thinking of this as a metaphor...if you are having a problem or pain in your life, should you not tell people about it? Just ignore it, so you can give yourself to others, focus all your attention to others? Or is it wrong not to tell people about your pain? Is it deceitful to hide your pain from others?
Why didn't the Girl B take her shoes off once they were outside? Why didn't she tell Girl A of her pain, so she could slow down? Why didn't Girl A not notice anything wrong?
Did Girl B do the right thing by not saying anything? Was she being a selfless servant by not thinking of herself, and listening to Girl A? I'm thinking of this as a metaphor...if you are having a problem or pain in your life, should you not tell people about it? Just ignore it, so you can give yourself to others, focus all your attention to others? Or is it wrong not to tell people about your pain? Is it deceitful to hide your pain from others?
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
well, computer problems suck
Yes. They really do. Just in case you were wondering. I don't know if there is a tornado going on right now, or what. I heard a siren a little while ago, but I figured it was an ambulance. My roommate said that was a tornado alert though. I wondered why I didn't know what a tornado alert sounded like... am I supposed to know these things? We don't have tornadoes where I come from! Just earthquakes. But whatever.
Back to the subject. Computer problems suck. My computer died about a week or so ago. Actually, it still works perfect; I just can't use it because the screen is black. If I shine a lamp on it, I can see that everything is working fine. I just called Dell, and they said my warranty is used up. So I don't know what to do without paying a bunch of money. I work with some people in the I.T. Dept. at Taylor, and one of the guys there has been helping me, so hopefully he can get me hooked up with someone that will fix it for cheap.
In the meantime, I've been using Paul's computer. He's actually been trying to get rid of his computer for months. He had been leaving it in his closet most of the time, and was thrilled that I was "taking it for him." He says he gets distracted with having a computer, and wastes time on it playing games or whatever, instead of hanging out with people. So it's been a great trade! A computer, for the absence of a computer.
But now I was just having internet connection problems with this computer. It's probably because of the storm/tornado that is happening. I restarted it like five times, lol, and now it seems to be working. I could never be a computer repair person. Computers don't make sense. Sure, they're machines and they should work according to their programming, but sometimes they can be so random! It's like this broken stereo at my parents house--sometimes if you kick the speakers a certain way, it starts working!
Speaking of randomness, I want to tell you about this wonderful simile I read in Silence in October today. I will give it to you in the context of the paragraph:
"I found her building and rang the buzzer. A long time passed and I was about to go look for a telephone when she stuck her head out of a window on the third floor. She hadn't expected me so early. Her long hair hung down around her face like an abbreviated, golden brown waterfall as she smiled, told me to let myself in, and threw the key down to the sidewalk."
Her long hair down...like an abbreviated, golden brown waterfall. Delight! I was in the Well when I read this, on a bicycle machine. I just looked up from the book and gazed off like I was in love. And I am in love. Sigh. What a purely wonderful image. Now, don't any of you tell me you've heard of hair described as an abbreviated golden brown waterfall and burst my bubble! :)
Back to the subject. Computer problems suck. My computer died about a week or so ago. Actually, it still works perfect; I just can't use it because the screen is black. If I shine a lamp on it, I can see that everything is working fine. I just called Dell, and they said my warranty is used up. So I don't know what to do without paying a bunch of money. I work with some people in the I.T. Dept. at Taylor, and one of the guys there has been helping me, so hopefully he can get me hooked up with someone that will fix it for cheap.
In the meantime, I've been using Paul's computer. He's actually been trying to get rid of his computer for months. He had been leaving it in his closet most of the time, and was thrilled that I was "taking it for him." He says he gets distracted with having a computer, and wastes time on it playing games or whatever, instead of hanging out with people. So it's been a great trade! A computer, for the absence of a computer.
But now I was just having internet connection problems with this computer. It's probably because of the storm/tornado that is happening. I restarted it like five times, lol, and now it seems to be working. I could never be a computer repair person. Computers don't make sense. Sure, they're machines and they should work according to their programming, but sometimes they can be so random! It's like this broken stereo at my parents house--sometimes if you kick the speakers a certain way, it starts working!
Speaking of randomness, I want to tell you about this wonderful simile I read in Silence in October today. I will give it to you in the context of the paragraph:
"I found her building and rang the buzzer. A long time passed and I was about to go look for a telephone when she stuck her head out of a window on the third floor. She hadn't expected me so early. Her long hair hung down around her face like an abbreviated, golden brown waterfall as she smiled, told me to let myself in, and threw the key down to the sidewalk."
Her long hair down...like an abbreviated, golden brown waterfall. Delight! I was in the Well when I read this, on a bicycle machine. I just looked up from the book and gazed off like I was in love. And I am in love. Sigh. What a purely wonderful image. Now, don't any of you tell me you've heard of hair described as an abbreviated golden brown waterfall and burst my bubble! :)
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
openness and honesty
Lately I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be open and honest. It started in Christian Marriage class I guess. Snyder was talking about how it's a research statistic that people who are open/honest/vulnerable/transparent or who "self-disclose" more are correspondingly liked more by others. And it even works the other way around. After you "self-disclose" to someone, you end up liking the person that you self-disclosed to more! Maybe it's not that profound of a statistic, but it's kept me thinking about it even days later...
Snyder also had us write down which we thought was more important in a marriage--openness or honesty. In class, I was really confused because I was having a hard time defining the difference. But I liked what other people said. Clearly, honesty is more important because what good is a bunch of information about a person if it's not the truth? For example, let's say you're dating someone and you're talking and being really "open" and telling them all sorts of things, and he/she is telling you all sorts of things. Then you come to find out once you're married (heaven forbid!) that all this time he/she has been lying to you! Pfhhhh, openness!!! Honesty is clearly more important.
But! Then someone else spoke up and said he thought openness was more important. He said he sees openness as containing honesty within it. I think I'm jumping more onto his train of thought now. Honesty is fine and dandy, but if you don't tell your spouse (boyfriend/friend/any person) things (aka, being open), and just wait for them to ask you, it might never happen! You can easily detour around the question while still being technically honest! So, if honesty is assumed in openness, then clearly, openness is the most important of the two.
It even parallels in God's relationship to us. He has been completely open and honest to us through his word. He does not even hide what will happen to us and the world in the future. He tells us how the world began. What a gift of openness!
All this thinking about openness and honesty has caused me to recognize it more clearly in my relationships. And it's so true! I am naturally drawn to people who seem to be more open and honest with themselves and with others. When other people open up, it's easier for you to open up, and the result is just an all-together good feeling of having someone know and understand you!
Something else Dr. Snyder said was that the number one reason that people marry other people is because of genuineness. Hmm! It holds true with why I was attracted to Paul. So interesting!
I'm surprised how much I remember from this class. How surprising to have a class that actually teaches life skills and concepts!
Anyways, so my new goal for myself is to become a more open and honest person. Mainly open--since I don't think I have a lying problem. I think usually I'm pretty picky about who I open up to...which isn't necessarily a bad trait, I don't think. You've got to have some wisdom about who to trust. But, on the other hand, if no one opened up to anybody, nobody would know anybody! And that would be a very sad world.
Snyder also had us write down which we thought was more important in a marriage--openness or honesty. In class, I was really confused because I was having a hard time defining the difference. But I liked what other people said. Clearly, honesty is more important because what good is a bunch of information about a person if it's not the truth? For example, let's say you're dating someone and you're talking and being really "open" and telling them all sorts of things, and he/she is telling you all sorts of things. Then you come to find out once you're married (heaven forbid!) that all this time he/she has been lying to you! Pfhhhh, openness!!! Honesty is clearly more important.
But! Then someone else spoke up and said he thought openness was more important. He said he sees openness as containing honesty within it. I think I'm jumping more onto his train of thought now. Honesty is fine and dandy, but if you don't tell your spouse (boyfriend/friend/any person) things (aka, being open), and just wait for them to ask you, it might never happen! You can easily detour around the question while still being technically honest! So, if honesty is assumed in openness, then clearly, openness is the most important of the two.
It even parallels in God's relationship to us. He has been completely open and honest to us through his word. He does not even hide what will happen to us and the world in the future. He tells us how the world began. What a gift of openness!
All this thinking about openness and honesty has caused me to recognize it more clearly in my relationships. And it's so true! I am naturally drawn to people who seem to be more open and honest with themselves and with others. When other people open up, it's easier for you to open up, and the result is just an all-together good feeling of having someone know and understand you!
Something else Dr. Snyder said was that the number one reason that people marry other people is because of genuineness. Hmm! It holds true with why I was attracted to Paul. So interesting!
I'm surprised how much I remember from this class. How surprising to have a class that actually teaches life skills and concepts!
Anyways, so my new goal for myself is to become a more open and honest person. Mainly open--since I don't think I have a lying problem. I think usually I'm pretty picky about who I open up to...which isn't necessarily a bad trait, I don't think. You've got to have some wisdom about who to trust. But, on the other hand, if no one opened up to anybody, nobody would know anybody! And that would be a very sad world.
Friday, February 27, 2009
we have a honeymoon!
Wednesday was a good day. Paul and I got a honeymoon and a place to live for next year, all in the same day!
The honeymoon spot is going to be Waldport, Oregon. Paul's mom's aunt has a vacation house right on the beach there, and she said we could stay there for free! I guess Paul's mom's cousins (is that confusing?) all have families in Portland, and don't have time to stay at the house, so it rarely gets used. I think we can pretty much stay there as long as we want. So, yay! She said every room in the house was built to have a view of the beach, haha! Anyway, it's awesome, and just what we wanted. We were going to go to Barbados, since his parents have a time share there, but the flights there would have been pretty expensive, and long, and we hate flying anyway...and we will have other chances to go there in the future. I love Oregon, it's so beautiful and green there! I could really see myself living there someday. I love all the outdoorsy/hippie/earthy people. It will be nice to have a car to drive around with there and check places out.
The first night we're gonna stay at this really nice resort hotel in Snoqualmie, with a waterfall! It worked out perfect, because that place is right on the way to start the drive to Oregon. After the honeymoon, we'll probably drive back, open all the gifts, and finish packing for school... and then go on honeymoon #2! Driving across the country! Yay! I love road trips. I don't know what route we'll take yet, but maybe we'll stop by Colorado and conquer those Rocky Mountains. :)
The other thing we found out is that we're living in Fairlane next year! It was our first choice because it was the best deal, and it comes mostly furnished. Furnished=necessity for us, since we don't really want to lug a bunch of furniture around, or buy a bunch of it for only one semester and J-term (and then have to lug it somewhere else). So, yippee! Things are working out, and God is providing for us. :)
I'm so excited for the summer. I'm so excited to get married, and for the honeymoon, and just to BE married to Paul. I haven't done hardly any wedding planning in the last two months--I'm just not that into it anymore. All the details of the wedding... I find myself saying, "Yeah, sure whatever! That looks good!" and making decisions really fast. Usually, I can never make decisions! So this change is good, I think. It certainly makes planning a lot less stressful. I just know that it will all work out in the end, and all these little details people freak out about don't really matter. It's a very freeing feeling. :)
The honeymoon spot is going to be Waldport, Oregon. Paul's mom's aunt has a vacation house right on the beach there, and she said we could stay there for free! I guess Paul's mom's cousins (is that confusing?) all have families in Portland, and don't have time to stay at the house, so it rarely gets used. I think we can pretty much stay there as long as we want. So, yay! She said every room in the house was built to have a view of the beach, haha! Anyway, it's awesome, and just what we wanted. We were going to go to Barbados, since his parents have a time share there, but the flights there would have been pretty expensive, and long, and we hate flying anyway...and we will have other chances to go there in the future. I love Oregon, it's so beautiful and green there! I could really see myself living there someday. I love all the outdoorsy/hippie/earthy people. It will be nice to have a car to drive around with there and check places out.
The first night we're gonna stay at this really nice resort hotel in Snoqualmie, with a waterfall! It worked out perfect, because that place is right on the way to start the drive to Oregon. After the honeymoon, we'll probably drive back, open all the gifts, and finish packing for school... and then go on honeymoon #2! Driving across the country! Yay! I love road trips. I don't know what route we'll take yet, but maybe we'll stop by Colorado and conquer those Rocky Mountains. :)
The other thing we found out is that we're living in Fairlane next year! It was our first choice because it was the best deal, and it comes mostly furnished. Furnished=necessity for us, since we don't really want to lug a bunch of furniture around, or buy a bunch of it for only one semester and J-term (and then have to lug it somewhere else). So, yippee! Things are working out, and God is providing for us. :)
I'm so excited for the summer. I'm so excited to get married, and for the honeymoon, and just to BE married to Paul. I haven't done hardly any wedding planning in the last two months--I'm just not that into it anymore. All the details of the wedding... I find myself saying, "Yeah, sure whatever! That looks good!" and making decisions really fast. Usually, I can never make decisions! So this change is good, I think. It certainly makes planning a lot less stressful. I just know that it will all work out in the end, and all these little details people freak out about don't really matter. It's a very freeing feeling. :)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
chic week
This past week has been what Sammy calls "dude week," where all the guys in Sammy give up something for the week. Since Paul was participating in this by giving up video games, all TV, all junk food, all meat, all dairy, as well as fasting on Tuesday and Thursday (and probably something else I'm forgetting), I felt inspired to have my own little version--"chic week." I choose to give up meat and internet--the internet being the much more difficult one! The one exception to the rule would be that I could check my email once a day...since you never know when a prof is going to throw an extra assignment on ya!
The results of this week were that I got to bed A LOT earlier. Also, I felt much more focused. I think being on the internet a lot makes me start to think in terms of clicking, and having multiple tabs open at the same time, and my brain starts getting jittery... It's hard to explain. I'll have these little pop-up thoughts throughout the day, but then they'll be gone the next second, because I'm on a different page, or something else has popped up. I also felt less rushed. I had more time to do everything--getting ready in the morning, doing chores... I had more time for people. I called my friends more than usual; I wanted to do things. I was less forgetful too. I even worked out twice during the week! This is unusual.
I also got to read a lot more. This may horrify you literary, reader-type people, but I haven't read a book for fun, entirely, all the way through, for years. I've started many different books, but then I loose interest, or am annoyed by something about the way it is written, and abandon the book. The closest I've got to finishing a for fun book is Jane Eye, which I probably would have finished if I didn't keep leaving it at home.
Anyways, last week I ordered a book on Amazon called Silence in October by Jens Christian Grondahl. I heard about this book through reading By Cunning and Craft last year in Fiction class. It quoted Silence in October, and I remember being so drawn by those couple paragraphs. And now I am so glad I bought the book! I love the way it is written. I don't think I have seen one quotation mark of dialogue in the whole book yet. I didn't have anything against quoted dialogue before, but I can't say I miss it now. I can't really describe why I am loving this book so much, other than that the characters are so rich, and just the way it is written...which I can't describe. I will link an excerpt here if you are interested. I don't want to talk it up too much though, because maybe it's just me. I haven't finished the book yet, but I don't think I'll be abandoning this one.
The results of this week were that I got to bed A LOT earlier. Also, I felt much more focused. I think being on the internet a lot makes me start to think in terms of clicking, and having multiple tabs open at the same time, and my brain starts getting jittery... It's hard to explain. I'll have these little pop-up thoughts throughout the day, but then they'll be gone the next second, because I'm on a different page, or something else has popped up. I also felt less rushed. I had more time to do everything--getting ready in the morning, doing chores... I had more time for people. I called my friends more than usual; I wanted to do things. I was less forgetful too. I even worked out twice during the week! This is unusual.
I also got to read a lot more. This may horrify you literary, reader-type people, but I haven't read a book for fun, entirely, all the way through, for years. I've started many different books, but then I loose interest, or am annoyed by something about the way it is written, and abandon the book. The closest I've got to finishing a for fun book is Jane Eye, which I probably would have finished if I didn't keep leaving it at home.
Anyways, last week I ordered a book on Amazon called Silence in October by Jens Christian Grondahl. I heard about this book through reading By Cunning and Craft last year in Fiction class. It quoted Silence in October, and I remember being so drawn by those couple paragraphs. And now I am so glad I bought the book! I love the way it is written. I don't think I have seen one quotation mark of dialogue in the whole book yet. I didn't have anything against quoted dialogue before, but I can't say I miss it now. I can't really describe why I am loving this book so much, other than that the characters are so rich, and just the way it is written...which I can't describe. I will link an excerpt here if you are interested. I don't want to talk it up too much though, because maybe it's just me. I haven't finished the book yet, but I don't think I'll be abandoning this one.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
rain, rain, go away...
So, I just don't understand people who say they love the smell of rain. I hate the smell of rain! I think it's gross. It smells like the word "moist" sounds. Moooiiiiist. Yuck. The air feels sticky to breathe. And it almost smells salty to me, but not a warm beach salty...it's mooooiiist. And it feels like it's getting all over you, and doesn't go away... I just want it to go away.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
what do you do?
Today, I got a package in the mail from my brother, Caleb...it was a birthday gift, a new webcam with a microphone attached. :) I forget if I mentioned before, but Caleb came to Taylor the same time I did, but left after fall of this year, and is now working with my dad and then plans to transfer to a different college in the fall. Anyway, after quite a struggle we figured out how to get the voice working on the webcam, and he has one too, so we just talked for a while. He told me about how he went to Applebees this weekend and ordered (and ate) three full meals, plus a disappointingly small ice cream sundae...and the reaction of the 100 lb. waitress. :) That in itself was probably worth the $30 something bill.
Anyways, he told me about this guy my dad and him met at a Calvary Chapel conference somewhere... The guy was sitting next to them and my dad and him start talking. He seemed normal but once they start talking, you could tell the guy's not completely "there," so to speak. My dad asks the generic smalltalk question, "So what do you do?" The guy replies, "I just do what I can." He just does what he can. What a profound statement! Then later, the guy says, "I'm a top ringer!" My dad asks, "a top ringer?" I guess the guy worked for the Salvation Army, and brought in the most money--$5,000. He said, "Yeah, the trick is when the shift is over and it was time to go home...I just stayed!"
I dunno, that little story just struck me... He just does what he can. I'm sure God is using him in the things he does. It seems he has the willing, and cheerful heart to do what he can, and he does! I just think that is very admirable.
Anyways, he told me about this guy my dad and him met at a Calvary Chapel conference somewhere... The guy was sitting next to them and my dad and him start talking. He seemed normal but once they start talking, you could tell the guy's not completely "there," so to speak. My dad asks the generic smalltalk question, "So what do you do?" The guy replies, "I just do what I can." He just does what he can. What a profound statement! Then later, the guy says, "I'm a top ringer!" My dad asks, "a top ringer?" I guess the guy worked for the Salvation Army, and brought in the most money--$5,000. He said, "Yeah, the trick is when the shift is over and it was time to go home...I just stayed!"
I dunno, that little story just struck me... He just does what he can. I'm sure God is using him in the things he does. It seems he has the willing, and cheerful heart to do what he can, and he does! I just think that is very admirable.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
hahaha
Okay, so I just learned a new word. It's really amazing.
...the word is.....
frigorific.
In fact, it's such a new word that my computer doesn't even know it and has underlined it in red.
This fabulous adjective means "causing cold" or "chilling." Merriam-Webster's Dictionary gives the example sentence, "Jamie shivered as she faced the frigorific blast of wind blowing off the lake." Or you could say, "Ugh! This friggin' frigorific wind!"
How delightful!
...the word is.....
frigorific.
In fact, it's such a new word that my computer doesn't even know it and has underlined it in red.
This fabulous adjective means "causing cold" or "chilling." Merriam-Webster's Dictionary gives the example sentence, "Jamie shivered as she faced the frigorific blast of wind blowing off the lake." Or you could say, "Ugh! This friggin' frigorific wind!"
How delightful!
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
goodbye milk
Well, I'm kind of sad. My mom called me last night, and said that she just got back from a nutrition meeting that she just started going to. Tonight's topic was about diabetes. If you didn't know already, my mom has type 1 diabetes, which means that her body doesn't produce any insulin at all. A type 2 diabetic produces some insulin, but not enough. My mom has had type 1 diabetes ever since I was born.
Anyways, she comes back from this nutrition meeting, and I guess they said there have been studies showing that cow's milk could cause type 1 diabetes. She also said that when I was a baby and getting weened off of breast milk and onto cow's milk, I developed a rash. I had to go on goat's milk, and then the rash slowly went away. So she thinks because of that, and this new study, and the fact that I'm more susceptible to it because of genes, that I should stop drinking milk.
Here is an article by Time Magazine about the milk-diabetes connection.
This news probably came at a good time, since I've just become more interested in soy milk and almond milk. But I really like milk. Especially in the mornings. So it'll be hard to give up, but this study is scaring me enough to do it. I just hope I don't have to give up cheese and ice cream too (heck, if that happens, I might as well go vegan)! My mom said she will find out next week... I don't know if I could though--that would be rough. If it turns out we shouldn't eat ice cream too, I think Caleb (my brother) would die... When he was at Taylor he would eat an ice cream cone at every meal. Huge ones. He had DQ skills at making the tallest ice cream cone. Anyway, that would be so sad for him. I can't even imagine. Caleb without ice cream...that's just wrong.
Anyways, she comes back from this nutrition meeting, and I guess they said there have been studies showing that cow's milk could cause type 1 diabetes. She also said that when I was a baby and getting weened off of breast milk and onto cow's milk, I developed a rash. I had to go on goat's milk, and then the rash slowly went away. So she thinks because of that, and this new study, and the fact that I'm more susceptible to it because of genes, that I should stop drinking milk.
Here is an article by Time Magazine about the milk-diabetes connection.
This news probably came at a good time, since I've just become more interested in soy milk and almond milk. But I really like milk. Especially in the mornings. So it'll be hard to give up, but this study is scaring me enough to do it. I just hope I don't have to give up cheese and ice cream too (heck, if that happens, I might as well go vegan)! My mom said she will find out next week... I don't know if I could though--that would be rough. If it turns out we shouldn't eat ice cream too, I think Caleb (my brother) would die... When he was at Taylor he would eat an ice cream cone at every meal. Huge ones. He had DQ skills at making the tallest ice cream cone. Anyway, that would be so sad for him. I can't even imagine. Caleb without ice cream...that's just wrong.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
God and Lungs
So much has happened since my last post. I can't go into detail about it all...but I'll give it a small effort.
Thursday night, after journal-making, I went to the prophecy meeting. The routine went as normal. Dr. Heth spoke for a while, we worshiped, and then the main student guy described the prophecy process. Like I explained a post or two ago, the guy picks four people randomly, and then everyone else tries to hear from God about those four people. Anyways, before I went, I had a feeling I would get chosen, and I did! Paul told me afterwards that he had had a feeling I would get chosen too. I was excited but nervous. The nerves wore off though after the first guy was prophesied over. The first thing anybody said was from this guy who got the picture from God of a shark fin in the water, but then a dolphin jumps out of the water, and there really is no shark. He said the thought that meant that the guy has no reason to be afraid about something in his life. The guy sitting next to me (who was getting prophesied over) just started to break down in tears immediately. It really seemed like God reached him. He sobbed for several minutes. I don't see any reason why a guy would do that unless God broke through something in his life...
Anyway, after a while, my turn came. I got several responses, but I will mention the most common ones here. Multiple people got images of rushing water. The first person saw a rainstorm, that was making a flood of constant love. Then he saw Noah, and thought this meant that I will tell others of God's love. Someone else saw a showerhead, gushing out water, and interpreted this to mean love coming down as well. Someone else saw a waterfall, with water increasing, and paving new river beads. He saw this to mean that I will be able to reach new people through love. One person got the image of eyes. He felt God was saying that I will be able to see people, and see people who are hungry for God. A girl saw a clock with the hands moving backwards. She said that God will take care of time. When she said that, I immediately thought of the wedding and how I worry about the future. I know it is a general statement (everyone probably has time issues), but still it was comforting. A guy said he saw me standing in a racetrack. But all the cars stopped. He said maybe God wants a calm on your life. One girl had a distinct image of a little girl in a village that was on fire, but then she finds me, and I keep her safe. I don't know what this means, but I thought it was interesting. Many people saw different images of stars. Someone said God guides the stars, he'll guide you. There were many many other things people said but I can't write them all down here...
I walked away that night feeling very encouraged. I don't know how many of those things were actually directly from God, but it was at least encouraging that people were trying to hear from God. I can't say I had a dramatic revelation from God about my life. But I did feel God's presence and was inspired to desire him more, so it definitely was worth it. That was my second time there, so I'm still new to it all. I'm not going to limit God in the way he works.
By the time I got home that night, it was almost midnight. I read in bed for a while and then I got a text from Liz at 1:30am. It read:
"My left lung collapsed and I just had surgery."
!!!
Long story short, she has spontaneous something thorax. She got a hole in her lung somehow (my guess is laughing too much!) and so when she breathed the air was escaping the lung instead of circulating. So air was filling up outside her lung, where it wasn't supposed to be, and the pressure from the outside air caused her lung to collapse. So they did surgery and stuck a tube in there to suck the unwanted air out. I drove over to spend the night with her there at the hospital the night of, and she was so out of it and drugged up that she could hardly stay awake. The nurses were all really nice though and took care of her well. She fell asleep and I was trying to sleep on this chair, but it had huge armrests on it, so I couldn't curl up. The room was dark now and the nurses were gone. This is weird but I asked God, "how can I get comfortable in this chair?" I was thinking there had to be a way I could sleep on it. Immediately after I thought that, a nurse walked in and was like "Oh, let me make that into a bed for you!" She pulls on something underneath the seat and two entire new sections come out of the chair! And wah-lah! It's a full sized padded bed. Then she brings me sheets and blanket (I already had my pillow). It was awesome, and I actually slept well! Anyways, Liz is doing a lot better now and should be out of the hospital on Wednesday or Thursday. Her dad and best friend from home (NY) drove over to see her and are with her now. And my goodness! Liz has the best attitude ever! I woke up in the morning that day, and she's telling me how blessed she is, and how lucky she feels that God is using her and will use this experience in her life!
I think I've hit my word limit for the day. Sleepy time!
Thursday night, after journal-making, I went to the prophecy meeting. The routine went as normal. Dr. Heth spoke for a while, we worshiped, and then the main student guy described the prophecy process. Like I explained a post or two ago, the guy picks four people randomly, and then everyone else tries to hear from God about those four people. Anyways, before I went, I had a feeling I would get chosen, and I did! Paul told me afterwards that he had had a feeling I would get chosen too. I was excited but nervous. The nerves wore off though after the first guy was prophesied over. The first thing anybody said was from this guy who got the picture from God of a shark fin in the water, but then a dolphin jumps out of the water, and there really is no shark. He said the thought that meant that the guy has no reason to be afraid about something in his life. The guy sitting next to me (who was getting prophesied over) just started to break down in tears immediately. It really seemed like God reached him. He sobbed for several minutes. I don't see any reason why a guy would do that unless God broke through something in his life...
Anyway, after a while, my turn came. I got several responses, but I will mention the most common ones here. Multiple people got images of rushing water. The first person saw a rainstorm, that was making a flood of constant love. Then he saw Noah, and thought this meant that I will tell others of God's love. Someone else saw a showerhead, gushing out water, and interpreted this to mean love coming down as well. Someone else saw a waterfall, with water increasing, and paving new river beads. He saw this to mean that I will be able to reach new people through love. One person got the image of eyes. He felt God was saying that I will be able to see people, and see people who are hungry for God. A girl saw a clock with the hands moving backwards. She said that God will take care of time. When she said that, I immediately thought of the wedding and how I worry about the future. I know it is a general statement (everyone probably has time issues), but still it was comforting. A guy said he saw me standing in a racetrack. But all the cars stopped. He said maybe God wants a calm on your life. One girl had a distinct image of a little girl in a village that was on fire, but then she finds me, and I keep her safe. I don't know what this means, but I thought it was interesting. Many people saw different images of stars. Someone said God guides the stars, he'll guide you. There were many many other things people said but I can't write them all down here...
I walked away that night feeling very encouraged. I don't know how many of those things were actually directly from God, but it was at least encouraging that people were trying to hear from God. I can't say I had a dramatic revelation from God about my life. But I did feel God's presence and was inspired to desire him more, so it definitely was worth it. That was my second time there, so I'm still new to it all. I'm not going to limit God in the way he works.
By the time I got home that night, it was almost midnight. I read in bed for a while and then I got a text from Liz at 1:30am. It read:
"My left lung collapsed and I just had surgery."
!!!
Long story short, she has spontaneous something thorax. She got a hole in her lung somehow (my guess is laughing too much!) and so when she breathed the air was escaping the lung instead of circulating. So air was filling up outside her lung, where it wasn't supposed to be, and the pressure from the outside air caused her lung to collapse. So they did surgery and stuck a tube in there to suck the unwanted air out. I drove over to spend the night with her there at the hospital the night of, and she was so out of it and drugged up that she could hardly stay awake. The nurses were all really nice though and took care of her well. She fell asleep and I was trying to sleep on this chair, but it had huge armrests on it, so I couldn't curl up. The room was dark now and the nurses were gone. This is weird but I asked God, "how can I get comfortable in this chair?" I was thinking there had to be a way I could sleep on it. Immediately after I thought that, a nurse walked in and was like "Oh, let me make that into a bed for you!" She pulls on something underneath the seat and two entire new sections come out of the chair! And wah-lah! It's a full sized padded bed. Then she brings me sheets and blanket (I already had my pillow). It was awesome, and I actually slept well! Anyways, Liz is doing a lot better now and should be out of the hospital on Wednesday or Thursday. Her dad and best friend from home (NY) drove over to see her and are with her now. And my goodness! Liz has the best attitude ever! I woke up in the morning that day, and she's telling me how blessed she is, and how lucky she feels that God is using her and will use this experience in her life!
I think I've hit my word limit for the day. Sleepy time!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
"You know, like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills..."
On Sunday, Paul mentioned that we should do more art type things together. This got me thinking that I don't really have very many hobbies/skills. I don't have any skills like knitting, or cooking, or marathon running, or flying a helicopter, or burping the alphabet. I just have the essential skills like driving a car and tying my shoe laces.
So, I dug in my brain to see what skill I wanted to develop. Because skills don't just appear out of nowhere! You gotta practice them. I decided that it would be nice to know how to make something. So then I thought of making journals! So I started researching this, (hence my last post)...found some sites, and found that it seemed to be more complicated than I expected (if I wanted to do a nice job). Then I remembered that my church (exit 59) was doing a journal making ministry! So I emailed the guy and sure enough, they were meeting the next day to make journals! They are selling the ones they make to try to buy women in Africa out of the sex trade...eventually a team will go there and teach them how to make the journals... so cool! So I went on Monday and I'm going again tonight! I don't think I'm very good at it, but practice, they say, makes perfect.
Oh! Cool thing happened! Today in Contemporary Christian Belief, Speigel talked about developing moral skills. Every virtue or fruit of the Spirit is a skill that needs to be developed...through practice. It seems pretty basic, but that was pretty dawning to me. By the way, my Book of Virtues still hasn't come yet, and I've been faithfully checking my mail every day! Haha, maybe they do that on purpose to make you develop patience! Ho ho! How clever.
Anyway, I'm excited about this new goal for myself now to get some skills! They say self-control is the most important fruit of the Spirit...because all the other virtues branch off of it.
Also, I'm excited about and interested in this new group that has been happening on campus...where students can practice prophecying. I've very slowly (over years) been more open to trusting God's work through spiritual gifts (it started with Ivory!). Last Thursday, I went to the meeting, and the group practiced trying to hear from God to prophecy over four different students. I've never really done something like that before, and it was obvious that God was working through people. I practiced for the first time saying what I thought God was telling me and "prophecied" over two different people. It was a step of faith each time because I wasn't 100% sure that it was God speaking to me...but that's the whole reason they started this group. So that people can practice in a safe environment and learn how to hear and discern God's voice. In a way, we are developing the skill of discernment to recognize God's voice. I'm very excited to go again tonight (9pm at the old prayer chapel)! :)
Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy. ~1 Cor. 14:1
So, I dug in my brain to see what skill I wanted to develop. Because skills don't just appear out of nowhere! You gotta practice them. I decided that it would be nice to know how to make something. So then I thought of making journals! So I started researching this, (hence my last post)...found some sites, and found that it seemed to be more complicated than I expected (if I wanted to do a nice job). Then I remembered that my church (exit 59) was doing a journal making ministry! So I emailed the guy and sure enough, they were meeting the next day to make journals! They are selling the ones they make to try to buy women in Africa out of the sex trade...eventually a team will go there and teach them how to make the journals... so cool! So I went on Monday and I'm going again tonight! I don't think I'm very good at it, but practice, they say, makes perfect.
Oh! Cool thing happened! Today in Contemporary Christian Belief, Speigel talked about developing moral skills. Every virtue or fruit of the Spirit is a skill that needs to be developed...through practice. It seems pretty basic, but that was pretty dawning to me. By the way, my Book of Virtues still hasn't come yet, and I've been faithfully checking my mail every day! Haha, maybe they do that on purpose to make you develop patience! Ho ho! How clever.
Anyway, I'm excited about this new goal for myself now to get some skills! They say self-control is the most important fruit of the Spirit...because all the other virtues branch off of it.
Also, I'm excited about and interested in this new group that has been happening on campus...where students can practice prophecying. I've very slowly (over years) been more open to trusting God's work through spiritual gifts (it started with Ivory!). Last Thursday, I went to the meeting, and the group practiced trying to hear from God to prophecy over four different students. I've never really done something like that before, and it was obvious that God was working through people. I practiced for the first time saying what I thought God was telling me and "prophecied" over two different people. It was a step of faith each time because I wasn't 100% sure that it was God speaking to me...but that's the whole reason they started this group. So that people can practice in a safe environment and learn how to hear and discern God's voice. In a way, we are developing the skill of discernment to recognize God's voice. I'm very excited to go again tonight (9pm at the old prayer chapel)! :)
Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy. ~1 Cor. 14:1
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
it feels so wrong...
Ugh, I feel so annoyed. I hate how it's just expected to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on a wedding. That's stupid. It feels wrong. I feel like Paul and I started the wedding planning out pretty simple (so I could stay in college, go figure), but my mother and future new mother (in-law) are wanting to spend more money on it than I'm comfortable with. It just feels so wrong to blow so much money for one day. I want the day to be about God, not how everything looks. My future mother-in-law bought us an over $1000 wedding cake for Christmas. I was shocked and humbled, but I also have this other feeling now...just uncomfortable with it I guess. I just can't justify spending $1000 on food, much less cake. I don't know, it just feels so strange. I don't know how I should feel. Thankful? It is a very nice thing to do, but I would never spend my own money that way, so I guess it's hard to accept. It's not like I can reject her gift though. That would seem so rude.
And now I just got a quote back from our florist consultation: $1,350. Gah! Another $1000 that will be gone after that one day. Sigh. I just can't handle it. I just can't handle throwing money away like that. It seems so wrong. The only thing I really ever cared to spend money on was the wedding dress...that could at least be passed on to my daughter someday. But spending on things that are just going to get tossed in the garbage later...how is that okay???
I guess my mom already went out and bought tablecloths and some table decorations...I have no idea what she spent on those...
I want it to be simple from here on out...new florist please!! I don't want to feel guilty walking down the aisle...
And now I just got a quote back from our florist consultation: $1,350. Gah! Another $1000 that will be gone after that one day. Sigh. I just can't handle it. I just can't handle throwing money away like that. It seems so wrong. The only thing I really ever cared to spend money on was the wedding dress...that could at least be passed on to my daughter someday. But spending on things that are just going to get tossed in the garbage later...how is that okay???
I guess my mom already went out and bought tablecloths and some table decorations...I have no idea what she spent on those...
I want it to be simple from here on out...new florist please!! I don't want to feel guilty walking down the aisle...
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